


A little shot through the chest never killed anybody

by Tallowwood



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, Gavin is a sad boi for a few seconds, Immortal Fake AH Crew, M/M, Michael Jones the bouncer, Michael thinks about his deaths, Past Character Death, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25538638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tallowwood/pseuds/Tallowwood
Summary: Michael is a bouncer for a very popular bar.He also has a secret.He’s immortal. If he dies, he wakes up behind the nearest hospital, as if his ability knows how to be inconspicuous.And then a very attractive brit decides to visit.
Relationships: Gavin Free/Michael Jones
Comments: 8
Kudos: 67





	A little shot through the chest never killed anybody

**Author's Note:**

> a little fic for a discord writing event!

Michael was having a good night, he thought. The bar at his back had picked out some decent songs to belt over the patrons, and he’d only had to ask one man to leave.

His shiny dress shoes, a uniform requirement, were as uncomfortable as they’d ever been, and there was something scratchy in the suit jacket- but he could bear it for the pay this fancy high-end bar offered.

Technically, he didn’t quite need the money, but there was a simple satisfaction in _having_ it.

He absentmindedly used a finger to press against his wrist, hands clasped together in front of him to shield the odd behaviour. It was a habit he’d picked up early on, constantly checking his pulse to affirm that, yes, he was alive despite all odds.

The steady beat thrummed under his attention, only slightly slower than that of an average person, the doctors had said. He didn’t visit hospitals often anymore, though; despite reawakening down their dark side alleys whenever the inevitable struck.

He nodded as a regular slid past him with a companionable salute, remembering in great detail how she had accidentally caused his latest death- a car crash on icy roads as he’d been taking a walk. He couldn’t blame her though, she had immediately called an ambulance and cried over him on the concrete.

He’d later died at the hospital away from any prying eyes, so all he’d had to do was climb back through the window and give himself a few bruises so the suspicion wouldn’t be too high. When they allowed visitors, she had come bursting in with apologies.

He could appreciate that.

The next person in line handed over their ID and it took a second for Michael to fully register the handsome man before him; light brown hair that faded into honey blond spikes above golden aviators, and a crooked nose that somehow worked for him, the guy sported a winning smile and a fancy white suit. 

He quickly snapped his eyes back to the card before nodding sharply “looks like it checks out, enjoy your time, sir.”

“Oh, I will,” the stranger purred, sexy British accent immediately snaring the bouncer’s attention before he slipped past to mingle.

Michael had to fight a blush that crept up his neck as he heard the man shout to someone over the music that ‘they’ were right, and the bouncer was ‘well fit!’

Whatever that meant, it was definitely a compliment, so Michael let it warm him against the night air as he leant back against the building, breath billowing from his nose like dragon smoke as he sunk back into his musings, which were a morbid topic to all but himself.

 _His first death was at the age of 19, in a traffic accident._

Michael smiled wryly, it had been such a vanilla way to go.

_He’d died on impact and woken up behind the local hospital mere seconds later, learning that they hadn’t been able to find his body in the wreck and chalked the whole scene up as a case of leaving the handbrake off whilst the vehicle was on an incline._

_This had, of course, left him extraordinarily confused; but he’d paid the fine and visited a doctor to check out his strange awakening._

_As it had been fairly early in the morning, it was concluded he’d suffered a bout of sleepwalking._

That had always left him with a raised brow, but people like things to make sense, so he never pointed out how stupid it was.

_The second time he’d died had been at the age of 24, working for a demolition agency and jolted awake behind another hospital after an accident in the workplace._

_It would only be later on after he’d fully realised his immortality that he’d thank his lucky stars no one had seen him get caught in the tragedy, otherwise there would’ve been far more panic as he wandered back into the construction site from the opposite direction of the collapse._

Michael absentmindedly swiped his hand over his stomach, remembering when he’d found the vicious scars lancing over his torso that night. It seemed the bigger the cause of death, the more prominent scarring would be.

_He finally started to comprehend this strange new ‘ability’ he had after playing a game of Zelda and noting the similarities between his sudden life-after-death and the respawn mechanic._

He shoved a disorderly patron out of the entryway and called them a cab as he reminisced how bizarre that moment had been.

_He still tried to avoid danger where he could, but he hit rocky times after a very unfortunate set of circumstances- leading him behind the wheel of a car with a bottle of vodka and utter despondency._

_He went straight over some railings and got drowned in his car after a terrifyingly long fall._

_Waking up from that one, he’d decided to move. Catching the news of his own death plastered on a few newspapers as he passed through the states._

That had not been a proud moment, and lead to a hesitance around large bodies of water.

_After that, he finally found himself in Los Santos on his 26th birthday and settled into a lonely apartment, watching insane crimes play out on the news every night._

_First it had been a group of three- two angry looking white guys and a younger black man. But nowadays it was this crazy group that called themselves ‘the Fakes’ for whatever reason._

Michael had to give props to their hacker, though. Not a single clear image of the crews' faces had ever been recovered from the mess they had left of all the security footage.

_The police would always swear some of them had been taken down directly in front of their eyes on occasion, but they always came running back into the fray a few minutes later._

_… He didn’t think about what that might mean, because they were criminals and he wasn’t going to compare himself to them._

_He was a law-abiding citizen, after all. And if the assholes hadn’t robbed his bank and taken some of his money during a recent heist, he might’ve actually thought they were pretty cool._

So, with a quick stretch, Michael nodded the last few stragglers inside and prepared for his journey home.

**==**

“Hello again, love,” the brit sung, grinning at the grumpy looking bouncer before him “this place makes some great bevs, so I just HAD to bring these two around!”

Michael scanned over the new companions, a shorter man with a bizarre purple tux standing beside a woman that looked as pretty as she did badass with a leather jacket and dark hair tied into a bun.

He nodded at their brandished IDs and stepped aside, wanting to keep talking to them- but his boss had decided to drop in tonight, so he had to watch his business face “please enjoy your night, and don’t get into trouble.”

The purple man laughed as if it were a joke, but as they made their way inside, the one that was definitely too handsome for his own good handed Michael a small slip of paper and winked. 

Michael quickly slipped it into a pocket and continued on with his night, only bothering to look at the number scrawled there after his shift was finally wrapped up. He contemplated for a moment as he decided to walk home, thankfully it wasn’t too far and his car was locked and free of valuables, before pulling out his phone.

‘Hey, it’s the bouncer you just gave your number to, I’m Michael.’ He texted, cool night air starting to seep through his, still far too fancy, suit. 

Not a minute passed before he got a reply ‘Michael boi! BD How are you!? Did you just get off work? I’m sorry I didn’t properly introduce myself, I’m Gavin!’

Michaels brow furrowed ‘Wait a second- that wasn’t on your id! Did you get away with forgery?’ 

‘Nooo… uhhh, maybe someone swapped my wallet?’

Why the fuck would someone want to _swap_ wallets? Maybe as a decoy or something? 

‘Uh-huh, and you want me to believe you had nothing to do with it?’

‘I had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with it!’

Michael really wanted to accept that answer, but there was one glaring problem ‘Then why the hell did it still have a picture of your face?’

‘… are you mad, boi?’

Michael shook his head as he got into his apartment, honestly more impressed than angry that the guy had puled one over on him.

‘nah, just annoyed I couldn’t see the lie. But you… ARE over 21, right?? You’re not just an incredibly hairy teen?’

‘HA, yes, I’m definitely older than that! 32, to be precise.’ 

‘oh, thank god, we’re about the same age.’

‘:O Michael!! When’s your birthday, Michael!! We can have a party!’

‘How about a date first?’

Michael let out a breath as his face immediately warmed, curse his spontaneous confidence, that was Way too fast! He was- ‘ohhh, A date? I can do that ;) just tell me when and I can set us up somewhere, boi.’

**==**

Gavin was extremely nervous. 

Not only had he scored a date with the hottest bouncer in Los Santos, in his opinion, but Michaels schedule had been so full that the only day he’d had free just so happened to be the day Geoff declared a covert mission Gavin would be the main spy for.

Gavin had, of course, desperately tried to weasel out of it; but the boss was having none of it “Gavin, I don’t care that it’s your date night, you can do both at the same time! So I swear to god if you say one more word, I _will_ confiscate all your technology.”

So now here he was, sitting with Michael in a fancy restaurant and doing his best to multitask between the man in front of him, and the man he’d been ordered to watch.

“You ok, Gav?” Michael asked, eyebrow raised as he set his cutlery down and pushed away his now empty plate.

A warmth bubbled in the hackers chest at the nickname, but he hid the smile with a small cough and averted his eyes from the suspiciously antsy target “Yeah, fine, love. Just lost in a bit of thought.”

The bouncer hummed, leaning back in his chair smoothly; Gavin couldn’t help but notice him check his own pulse as he stuck his hands behind his head.

This man really was lovely, but kingpin would tear him to shreds if he let his guard down, so Gavin grabbed the first thought he could “so… What do you think about the Fakes?”

Michaels other eyebrow joined its twin at its higher vantage point, and he shrugged “they’re criminals, stole some of my money during that last heist, so not very fond of them.”

Internally, he cringed, not a great sign for future dates; but he nodded anyway, trying not to look guilty “hm, yeah, I can see-” BANG.

Both men’s eyes widened.

The target was standing in the middle of the room, shaking almost uncontrollably as he pointed a gun towards Gavin.

“Fu-fuck off! I don’t owe th- I don’t owe the Fakes SHIT, Golden boy!”

Gavin wasn’t listening. 

He was more concerned with the growing stain on Michaels shirt.

He barely registered the realisation filter through the bouncers' eyes at the targets claim, didn’t even comprehend how calmly Michael was taking this gunshot right through the chest, couldn’t even identify when the rest of the crew burst through the doors and surrounded the target.

Jeremy took the man down after a very short firefight, and Geoff looked towards the brit with guilt.

Gavin couldn’t even feel it when the boss laid his hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

All he could see was the now still form of a man he’d have loved to get to know better before the panicking crowd whisked him away.

**==**

Michael woke up, as he usually did, behind the hospital in a fresh dress suit 

He rubbed his chest contemplatively, that was the first time he’d been _shot_ before.

And also the first time he’d gone on a date with a criminal.

But despite that, He’d still really liked the brit, and to his surprise, he didn’t care about his status against the law.

Michael decided he’d like to go on another date with the man, nodding to himself approvingly before he paused; face scrunching in contemplation.

“Oh,” he said, before shooting upright “ _OH._ SHIT.”

He scrambled out of the alley and began sprinting as fast as he could.

Why the fuck did he always fucking forget that he was the only one that could come back to life after getting shot in the motherfucking chest?

He didn’t know the exact location of the restaurant they’d been at, but it was safe to assume he just needed to follow the sirens.

He kept sprinting down the streets, knocking into people and sending accessories flying as he barrelled past. His lungs burned, his muscles strained, his jaw was clenched way too hard; but finally he turned down a street so fast his shitty dress shoes, with their bullshit zero grip, had him sliding out into the open road and barely get missed by a car.

But now he saw the restaurant, and he put on a burst of speed as he caught sight of a fancy car decked out on the Fahc’s logo staring to speed away.

He almost gave up hope as they got further away.

“Fuck THAT” he wheezed, hurling himself onto the roof of a passing car and clumsily crawling into the passenger seat.

It was almost too easy to push the driver out as he stole the vehicle and slammed down on the speed.

Later, Michael would thank his lucky stars Jack wasn’t the one driving, or he never would’ve managed to catch up and haphazardly wave at them like a mad man.

He saw Rimmy Tim nudge Gavin, hard, in the side.

The hacker looked up forlornly- and squawked as he saw Michael through the window. The only reason Michael knew he’d squawked was because it had been so loud, it had gotten through the glass between them.

The bouncer grinned back, giving a thumbs-up as the cars drew closer together and the brit frantically pushed open their door so Michael could climb very dangerously into it from his own vantage point.

Taking a moment to watch the now unmanned car veer off and crash into a brick wall, Michael didn’t even mind that every occupant was now staring at him intently. 

“Micoo,” Gavin breathed, staring into his eyes after he’d turned back to him “you’re back.”

Michael grinned “of course I am, boi. A little shot in the chest never killed anybody.”

**==**

And thus a new member of the fakes would make their debut in a massive explosion, and a fiercely protective streak for the crews' golden hacker.


End file.
